The Scottish Football Christmas Alphabet

It's time again for Inside Left to take a wee break, so updates will be a little sporadic between now our return in January. But in keeping with tradition, we like to round off the year with our Christmas alphabet. A is for ...

A is for Aberdeen and their continued struggles under new management. After four years of steady growth and improvement (but no silverware), the mandarins at Pittodrie thought it a good idea to swap Calderwood for a man whose managerial record is sketchy as best. The fact McGhee was an Aberdeen legend seems to have been qualification enough, the lessons of the Willie Miller period clearly not having been learned. Like a fart in a lift we're stuck with him now so we'll have to make the best of it, if topping the red card league could be termed 'the best of it'.

B is for George Burley, our former national team manager whose reign came to an end after a 3-0 Friendly defeat to Wales in general, and a disappointing World Cup Qualifying campaign in particular. His tenure as head coach was short and mostly invisible, the only interest coming in the various messes made of the Boyd, Vickygate and Boozegate affairs.

C is for Clachnacuddin who fell foul of the somewhat ironically named 'Good Will Fund' designed to provide funding for projects that improve the lot of the Inverness burghers. Clearly, having a top Highland League outfit does not figure highly on the priorities, hence their decision to increase the club's repayments by some 800%. By next week. Nice!

D is for Dundee, after Celtic the bigger spenders in Scotland's transfer market last year. That investment is clearly paying off, as the Dee are top of Division 1 and looking good for a return to the top flight. For Aberdeen fans like myself, the success Dundee are enjoying is particularly painful, as the man behind the investment, Calum Melville, is an Aberdeen supporter. Dundee spent £300,000 on Gary Harkins and Leigh Griffiths, two players who have so far played a huge part in getting Dundee to where they are now.

E is for European competition, or rather, the lack thereof. The exploits of our teams in Europe make for grim reading. Hearts fell at the first hurdle, as did Aberdeen (pumped 8-1 on aggregate by some Czech team), Falkirk (2-1 on aggregate to a team from - yes, it's true - Liechtenstein) and Hearts to Dynamo Zagreb. Motherwell did a little better, making the 3rd qualifying round before going out to a strong Steaua Bucuresti. Rangers, our national champions failed to win a game in their group, managing to avoid the Europa League, while Celtic at least won a few games but failed to make the final cut.

F is for Fort William who this year doubled their win tally, to 2. Their first win since 2007 came against Turriff United, their second against another 'expansion' team, Strathspey Thistle. True, the victories come against a backdrop of unrelenting poundings, but give the lads some due.

G is for Gordon Strachan, Celtic's former successful but unloved manager. He didn't get off to a good start, losing 5-0 to Slovakian champions Artmedia Bratislava, but, a shock defeat to Clyde aside (Clyde scored twice before half-time to kill the tie), normal service resumed. During his tenure, he won the league 3 times in a row, a Scottish Cup and the Scottish Cup twice. Despite this, the Celtic support continued to be critical of Strachan, but the former European Cup Winners Cup winner did nothing to make himself popular either. He resigned shortly after Celtic lost the league on the final day, depriving Strachan of a memorable four-in-a-row win. He's currently manager of Championship side Middlesbrough where he's enjoying mid table mediocrity.

H is for John Hartson, the former Celtic player, whose fight against testicular cancer raised awareness of this terrible illness and caused many men - including me - to be more vigilant. Hartson was diagnosed in July of this year, by which time the cancer had spread to his lungs and brain. Despite overwhelming odds, and after lengthy treatment, it's been reported that the cancer had been virtually eradicated from Hartson's body, although he has more surgery and treatment to come. We continue to wish him well in his recovery.

I is for ill-discipline. The recent scuffles in the tunnel at New Douglas Park following the match between Hamilton and Hearts resulted in a shower of cards of all hues. Hearts finished the game with nine men after Michael Stewart and Ismael Bouzid where sent off, but referee David Somers sent off three more players as they made their way to the dressing rooms after the game. Elsewhere, Aberdeen and Dundee United continue to lead the red-card table with seven and six respectively. The Dons also lead the yellow-card table with 34 cards, prompting Mark McGhee to introduce a community service scheme for his errand players. Lee Miller became the first player to do good in the community when he was sent off in the 2-0 defeat to Hibs at the weekend.

J is for Jim Jefferies, the SPL's longest serving manager. Since his appointment as Kilmarnock manager in February 2002 following Bobby Williamson's move to Hibs, Jefferies has been unable to match is achievements at Falkirk where he won the First Division twice as well as the Challenge Cup, or Hearts, where he won the Scottish Cup in '98. So far, he's finished runners-up the 2007 Scottish League Cup when Kilmarnock where pounded 5-1 by Hibs. For anyone who cares: of the current SPL managers, Gus McPherson (2003), Billy Reid (2005) and Craig Levein (2006) are next in line. Allan Moore of Stirling Albion trails Jefferies by 110 days, his appointment coming on the 18th of June,2002.

K is for Laryea Kingston, the troubled Hearts midfielder who angered his club for saying he'd always put country (Ghana) before club; he received a club maximum four-week fine for his utterings. The Hearts support are not to pleased either, booing him off when he limped off with five minutes of their match against Dundee United remaining, with Hearts having used all their substitutes. He's been plagued with injuries, ironically putting him out of the sort of competition he'd put before his club. It'll take a lot of hard work for Kingston, a popular player last season, to win back the support of the fans.

L is for Livingston and all the tragic comedy they've brought in the last few months. That they exist at all is a miracle, considering how close they've come on occasion to being boarded up. Chairman Angelo Massone was finally convinced to just fuck off, but despite the new owners Gordon McDougall and Neil Rankine paying a £720,000 bond to the SFL, the club was demoted to Division Three, part of the punishment for going into administration in the first place. Life in the Third is not glamorous, but it's life, and the team are currently leading Division Three.

M is for managerial changes. So far there's been just the two this season: Davie Irons was sacked from Morton, while John Brown was sacked by Division Two stragglers Clyde. Both clubs cited poor results as a reason for the sacking, which made us feel sorry for John Brown in particular, who had to rebuild an entire squad following the release of the entire first-team squad at the end of last season. James Grady took over at Morton, while John McCormack took over at Clyde.

N is for Neil Doncaster, the SPL chief executive who was appointed in July 2009 to succeeded Lex Gold. His contribution to the game so far seems to extend only to being stunned that Scottish football managers are not contractually obliged to give post-match interviews, and to something called "SPL Family Champions", an attempt to encourage families back to our crumbling stadiums. "It worked for Norwich" is the justification, infiltrating football crowds by slipping in under-cover families and carrying out some kind of satisfaction survey is the method. It'll never work, but we cant fault him for trying.

O is for Olomouc. Sigma Olomouc to be precise, the team that put Aberdeen out of Europe at the first hurdle. The 8-1 defeat (including a 5-1 defeat at home) was one of the low points of Aberdeen's European career and brought new manager Mark McGhee no end of headaches.

P is for postponements. There's been no end of these lately. In fact, last weekends entire Second Division fixture list was scrapped, as where most games in the Third Division and the Highland League. In the SPL, the game between Hamilton and Dundee United was also called off due to frozen pitches. It really underlines the need for a winter break (see the letter 'W'), if only to avoid the sort of fixture pile-ups that Arsene Wenger gets hot under the collar about.

Q is for questionable investors, to wit: Dave King. The Glasgow-born, South African based investor is a wealthy man, estimated anywhere between £200m and £300m. But to demonstrate that all that glitters is not gold, King is part of a seemingly perpetual investigation into 322 charges of fraud, charges which surfaced after King refused to pay out the South African Revenue Service's demand for £180m in unpaid taxes. King denies the allegations of course, but while this whole messy stramash is going on, there will be little chance of King increasing his £20m investment back in 2000. Whether King will attract the kind of attention that Rangers want or need right now remains to be seen as the club continues to struggle through their financial woes.

R is for rows, a blanket term used to describe unseemly to-do's. There are two that stick out in our mind this season: the first concerns Arsenal striker Eduardo, whose dive in the Champions League play-off round second leg against Celtic was a thing of majestic beauty, to say nothing of blatant cheating. The row was so bad that Scottish Football Association chief executive Gordon Smith was woken from his slumbers to urge UEFA to punish the Croatia international. After much chest beating, Eduardo was charged with "deceiving the referee", for which he was banned for two games. The second row concerns Kyle Lafferty's blatant cheating. In the game between Rangers and Aberdeen on 16 May 2009, Lafferty and Aberdeen defender Charlie Mulgrew got into an off-the-ball incident in which it appeared that Mulgrew headbutted Lafferty. The Northern Ireland international went down like a sack of spuds, and Mulgrew was sent off. After TV replays and a review by the SFA, Lafferty was found guilty of simulation, the first time such action was taken by the SFA. Mulgrew's red card was rescinded, and a whole new chapter of antipathy between Aberdeen and Rangers was created.

S is for Stirling Albion, one of the four clubs this season whose future continued, or continues, to hang in the balance (the others being Stranraer, Livingston and Clyde). The Buy Stirling Albion FC campaign group has battled valiantly to buy the club from the current owner Peter McKenzie, having substantial offers turned down by McKenzie. The latest news is that a deal proposed by Scotland's top sports surgeon Gordon Mackay, who was formerly a Rangers player, and who wants to set up a sports medicine facility at the club's Forthbank Stadium. The deal will, allegedly, secure the future of Stirling Albion. While we think it's good news that the club will be saved, we'd rather the club was saved by a supporters trust, rather than 'Big Business', but as long as football can continue in the town, we're behind it.

T is for transfer deals. Given the financial health of most of our clubs, the number of transfer deals this season has been somewhat subdued. Big transfers included Barry Ferguson and James McCarthy moving to Birmingham and Wigan for £1.2m each, while the transfer of Steven Fletcher and Marc-Antoine Fortuné for £3m and £3.8m each where this seasons bank busters. Hamilton made good use of the money they got for McCarthy, bringing in 16 players.

U is for Unirea Urziceni, the team that so cheekily hammered Rangers 4-1 at Ibrox. Considered the minnows of the group, the Romanian champions more than held their own against Scotland's finest. Unirea missed their chance to progress to the knock-out stages of the Champions League (pipped on the last day to second place by VfB Stuttgart), but they did enough to take the Europa League spot, where they'll face Liverpool. Cheekily, Dan Petrescu, manager of Unirea recently applied for the vacant Scotland managers job.

V is for Vladimir Romanov, the owner of Heart of Midlothian FC and who continues to entertain us with his paranoid and unfounded rantings. He kept his nose out of club affairs last season - with amazing results. This year, when things are not going so well, Romanov has taken a break from his latest project - a basketball team - to get stuck into the SPL, Old Firm favouritis and, worryingly, his own manager. Back in 2005, Romanov said his goal was "to be champions of Europe. I think we’re looking at three years". Four years and eight managers later, he's still waiting.

W is for winter break. SFA chief exec Gordon Smith has always been in favour of a winter break. Most fans would be in favour of a winter break. But some clubs, strangely enough are not. The reason: gate receipts. They fear the lack of games would result in lower gate receipts over the festive period, though this loss would be offset by games in June. Smith had suggested bridging loans could be introduced to get the clubs over the lean season, but since the fragile financial support that underpins Scottish football collapsed like a flan in a cupboard, the SFA are not in any position to hand out, well, handouts. Smith needn't have worried: this week SPL chief exec Neil Doncaster kicked any plans of winter breaks into touch. The only winter breaks we can now look forward to our those from players legs, as opposition defenders lose control on the icy pitches.

X is for extraordinarily difficult to find something to do with Scottish football and which starts with X. Anyone who has any suggestions, do get in touch.

Y is for Yogi. John Hughes took over at Hibernian in June 2009 from Mixu Paateleinen, leaving behind a Falkirk team known for it's attractive football, if not for stunning league form. But Hughes worked wonders at a club with limited finances, and he's continued that formula at Hibs, the club he played for between '96 and 2000. The man is a legend at the club and he wasted no time in accepting the job. Despite losing Stephen Fletcher to Burnley, he's reinvigorated Derek Riordan following his best forgotten spell at Celtic and taken Hibs to third place, pushing the Old Firm all the way. The last club to split the Old Firm was Hearts - could this be the year of the green half of Edinburgh?

Z is for zero, or the number of times that Celtic and Rangers have lost at home this season in the League. It says something, though we're not sure what, that the only teams to record wins at Ibrox are Seville, Unirea Urziceni (how we laughed) and VfB Stuttgart. Likewise Celtic, whose only defeats on home turf came courtesy of Dinamo Moscow, Arsenal and Hamburg. Assuming Celtic don't lose to Hamilton in the Boxing Day game, this record may well be broken when Rangers come calling on the 3rd January. The last time they two sides played at Parkhead the points where shared, unlike the time before that when Rangers ran out 2-4 winners.