Inside Left Performance of the Week Award

This week we have another three candidates for "Performance of the Week" for you to chose from. Simply vote for your candidate by leaving a comment at the bottom of the page.

Fort William, for scoring their second goal in all competitions in the Highland League this weekend. Michael Gillespie's goal in Saturday's 3:1 defeat to Forres Mechanics has doubled the goals scored tally this season for The Fort in one fell swoop: Richard Finnie lays claim to the only other goal scored so far in the opening day defeat away to Lossiemouth. We've been a little flippant with the Fort this season, what with the whole "America's Team" thing, but judging by the results so far, Fort William are showing signs of improvement. This weekend's defeat is the lowest score of the season and, before you say "ah, but Forres Mechanics are guff", consider that they inflicted 6:0 and 7:0 defeats on the Fort last season. Fort William had already conceded 19 goals (including an 8:1 tanking by Cove Rangers) at this stage last year but, admittedly, they'd also scored more. But goal difference is what counts, and so far this season is turning out a little better, with a goal difference of -12, compared with -15 at the same stage last season.  It's still not quite the form that's going to win you trophies, but manager John Haggerty should take heart from this weeks result.

Scottish referees, who this week proved they're worth every penny of their pay rise, produced three decisions of such ineptitude that Inside Left is still tut-ting three days later. Things got off to a start in the early game of the day at Pittodrie where linesman Bill "Billy" Baxter, proved all those conspiracy theorists wrong: sometimes Rangers do get a taste of their own medicine. Baxter made a monumental clanger at the end of the game when he incorrectly flagged Demarcus Beasley offside despite the fact that the American was clearly about a foot onside. Baxter was probably confused by Kris Boyd, who was offside but not interfering with play, as it's so neatly called, and in the heat of the moment raised his orange flag and so incurred the wrath of mild-mannered Rangers manager Walter Smith. Not that we're implying anything of course, but with a name like Billy Baxter you'd have thought he'd have kept his flag down.

Later on in the day, Ian Brines got the entire Falkirk team riled when he allowed a Stephen McManus goal when the Celtic captain appeared to have used his arm to score. Falkirk's Michael Higdon claims that even McManus admitted the goal should not have stood, it was that blatantly obvious (according to Higdon). And if that wasn't bad enough, the same referee then wanted to report Falkirk gaffer John Hughes to the SFA for visiting his teams dressing room during half time. You see, Hughes is serving a 6-match touchline ban which, as Brines claimed, prevents him from even talking to his team. It took much fur and handbags-a-flying from Falkirk director George Craig to prove Brines wrong, even so far as getting the rule book out to prove his point. Remember folks that the referees are due another pay-rise next season, so if there are kids out there looking for a career that involves earning lots of money with little accountability or regard for the rules and for which you don't need to run the risk of being caught in a dark alley handing over tablets to undercover polis, then contact the SFA and ask for the brochure "Become a referee!"; they have plenty to spare, apparently.

Lastly, what do Scottish referees and Bobo Balde have in common? The answer is that both earn loads of  money for doing fuck-all.

Yes, our last nominee is Celtic's very own Bobo Balde, for wanting to stay on at Celtic when pretty much everyone involved with Celtic FC, from the manager to the lady who cleans the toilets wants rid of the money grabbing toe-rag. He's already turned down lucrative offers from Birmingham (and driven Alex McLeish demented with his procrastination), but the Guinea international claims to love it at Celtic and wants to honour his contract, even suggesting that Gordon Strachan might change his mind. Now, Inside Left has more chance of turning out in the center of defence for the Hoops than Balde has, so why he insists on hanging around and draining the resources of his employers is beyond us. OK, it might have something to do with getting paid loads for doing absolutely bugger-all, but who are we to judge that? Balde reckons that he's being 100% professional about the whole thing and says that "if Celtic don't want me they should let me know". Balde obviously doesn't spend his hard earned cash on newspapers, nor does he check the forums. In case you're reading this Bobo: Celtic don't want you!