Mince & Tatties: How Scotland *are* at Euro '08

So there I was sitting on the couch with Mrs Inside Left, watching the first half of the Czech Republic vs. Turkey game, a game that was remarkably similar to watching a Scottish Third division game: hoof the ball up from defense to the big centre forward to nod down for the striker making a run up the middle.

To really get into that big match atmosphere I opened up the patio doors to let the cold breeze through the living room while Mrs Inside Left went and stuck two pies in the microwave and scoop some toilet water into two Styrofoam cups (complete with ill-fitting lid). The tartan rug was out on loan, but jings, it was like being in the stands at Firs Park.

Anyway, the first half drew to a close, the Czechs were leading 1-0 and thinking that there'd be no more goals, we switched over to watch the Inspector Linley mysteries. About an hour later, after we worked out who did it, I flicked over to see how the game was going, just in time to see the Czech keeper, Cech, attempting to catch the ball only to drop it neatly at the feet of the Turkish striker who drilled the ball home from close range. Minutes later, Turkey got the winner in the dying minutes when Nihat fired in a cracker from outside the box.

So I remarked to Mrs Inside Left that even though Scotland didn't qualify, Scottish football at least was represented at Euro 2008, if not by the team, but certainly in spirit. To wit:

1 – "Route one" football is alive and well in the Czech Republic
2 – Poor goalkeeping is no longer just a Scottish phenomenon
3 – The inability to hold on to a lead happens to all of us at some time

And speaking of Scots at the Euro's only last week Inverness CT where sitting smug in their portacabin with the news that they'll be earning money on account of Romanian striker Marius Niculae possibly getting through to the next round, when suddenly the sound of vultures circling high above Inverness broke the silence. It turns that his former club Sporting Lisbon are showing an interest again in the £4,000-a-week player. He's keen to see out his contract he says, but it'll be difficult for Caley to hold on to the 27-year old. All of which goes to show once again that European football is bad for you, because all that happens is your best players are picked off by the bigger clubs. Best to keep them safe and dry at home, in a bunker deep under the house until all the fuss has died down.

And since we're on the European theme, another Scottish side will be getting a chance to shine in the preliminary rounds of the UEFA Cup next season. The Intertoto Cup is being replaced with an additional qualifying round for the UEFA Cup and participation will be mandatory. Basically, the team in fourth place will be entered into the fourth qualifying round; the third placed team goes into the third qualifying round while the teams finishing second and third will continue into the Champions League. The Intertoto Cup won't be missed really; it surely is the Mickey Mouse Cup by another name. I can't recall a Scottish team ever wining it (as far as 'winning' is defined in the Intertoto Cup, namely the 'winner' being the team that progresses the furthest in the UEFA Cup), unless someone can correct me.

Some tranfer news then. Aberdeen have taken Irish international Joe Lapira on trail. The 21-year-old striker plays his club football in Toronto but had previouly played for the Baton Rouge Capitals. The Baton Rouge Capitals. What the fuck kind of name for a team is that? God help us if the Americanisation of the game ever came to Scotland, because the league would probably look something like this:

1  Glasgow City Royals
2  The Glasgow Bhoys
3  Motherwell Steelmen
4  Aberdeen Northern Lights
5  The Dundee Jutes
6  The Falkirk Spires
7  Hibernian Celtics
8  Inverness Highlanders
9  Paisley United FC
10 The Hamilton A's
11 The Kilmarnock Ayrmen
12 The Edinburgh Capitals

[start rant] Frankly, I know nothing about Joe Lapira, and I don't care either. So what if he had a trail at Rangers, so did Chris Woods and Terry Butcher. He's not the kind of player we need at Aberdeen. He's no big name signing, just another amateur player with no future and no reason to shift more season tickets that we're only taking on because he's cheap and/or desperate. [end rant]

And speaking of no big name signings, much fuss around the signing by Rangers of Kenny Miller. Though not the first player to have played for both sides, and not the first player to play for Rangers, then Celtic and back to Rangers again (that honour goes to Willie Kivilichan) his transfer has stirred up a hornets nest of controversy. I'm not talking about all that sectarian nonsense, a topic about which Inside Left knows little nor cares to, but about the fact that the £2m Rangers are spunking out is pretty much their entire transfer budget for this year. Not unremarkable by Old Firm standards, but questions are being asked about where the rest of the estimated £40m Rangers must have earned from their UEFA Cup run and the sale of Alan Hutton has gone. Could Rangers be using the money to pay off loans? Are the Ibrox side in financial trouble? Who knows, but I think Rangers fans certainly have reason to ask questions of the board.  Teams like Rangers and Celtic need at least one big name signing to get the fans excited about the season ahead, and many are wondering if Kenny Miller is a 'big name' signing. Probably not. He's also not likely, if past performances are anything to go by, a striker that'll get you 20 goals a season. His record in Scottish football is not exactly stellar. He scored 12 goals in 45 appearances for Hibernian, 8 in 30 for Rangers and 7 in 33 for Celtic. Even Kris Boyd outscored Miller in every season he's been at Rangers. Time will tell, but we think he'll be in for a rough ride.

Ok, that's it for now. Things to look forward to this week include the league fixture announcements, Vladimir Weiss taking over at Heart of Midlithuania and the SFL goes into the wilds of Scotland to talk to the applicants for the vacant spot in the Third division.

Apropo the applicants, I hope the SFL swing past Raydale to remind themselves to make the right decision when choosing the new team. Listening to the radio over the weekend I heard that applicants Edinburgh City regularly draw between 50- 100 people to their games. Crowds like that will not sustain a club for long in the SFL and we really don't want a repeat of the Gretna incident. Do we?