Monday Stramash

Ok, we're back (and hopefully with the correct font this time) in the saddle after a somewhat flimsy weekend of Euro '08 related nonsense and general nothingness. In an action packed bumper update, we go from the town 'twix the rivers Dee and Don, to the waters of the Clyde and we finish off as always with a quick round-up of the news around the leagues.

We begin though, in deepest darkest Stirling, county town of Stirlingshire and supposedly the third fastest growing area of Scotland in terms of population, if not football.  An eagle-eyed reader of Inside Left got in touch to point out that in our article about derby games in the new season we missed another humdinger of a derby game also taking place on the 13th September. So for Brian, and all fans of Stirling Albion and/or Alloa, this is just for you!

Stirling Albion vs. Alloa (13th September)
The Gods have not always been kind to Stirling Albion. The clubs nickname, or at least one of them, is the Yo-Yos. This has nothing to do with gangsta rap you understand, but rather their inability to stay in one division longer than one or two seasons. Two years ago they won promotion to the First, beating Airdrie in the play-offs, only to drop straight back down again the next, thus setting up this juicy tie against their local rivals from down the road in Clackmannanshire, Alloa Athletic. Alloa, aka "The Wasps", have been regulars in the Second division since around 2003.  Formed in 1883, it wasn't until 1921 that Alloa where elected into the Scottish Football League, having previously played its games in the Scottish Football Union and the Central Football League. The games between these two have had some interesting score lines. In 2007, Albion beat Alloa 5-0, while in 1999, Alloa beat Albion by seven goals to nil. Aside from the League, the two sides will also meet in the Stirlingshire Cup this year, a competition Stirling Albion have been rather successful in, winning it 13 times. Alloa last won the cup in 1997.
Throw-In: Stirling Albion are the holders of quite a few intriguing records in Scottish football. For example, in the 80/81 season, Albion went without scoring a league goal for eight months, still managing to finish second bottom (Berwick Rangers ended the season below them). They're also the first Scottish team to play on artificial turf and hold the record Scottish Cup score when they beat Selkirk 20-0. Selkirk are something of a goal-mine for these two sides, as Alloa's highest ever score also came against the Borders team. Alloa didn't beat Stirling's score, but 9-0 is not exactly shabby.

We should also point out that we missed out the Aberdeen vs. Dundee United game, as well as the Ayr vs. Stranraer fixture which also takes place on 13th September, for no reason other than sheer apathy. Besides, the Dons didn't exactly shine against United last year, so the least said about that, the better.

Still in Aberdeen, much excitement abounds at the prospect of yet another Dutch second division available-on-a-free-transfer player coming to Pittodrie. This time it's the turn of RKC Waalwijk's Tim Bakens who's keen to savour the bitter north east wind blowing down off the Dick End. The tall central defender turned down a new deal at RKC and, though he has other options, Bakens has spoken to Jimmy Calderwood and is still willing to consider a year or so in the SPL. Another central defender, Andrew Considine, has also been offered a new deal, while talks with Alan Maybury are set to continue in the hope of keeping him on for another season.

Dolphins in the Clyde are becoming as common as Celtic and Rangers stories in the press. Even though we're a good while away yet from the start of the season, the flurry of activity around Parkhead and Ibrox doesn't know the meaning of the word 'fact'. For one, James McFadden, who recently went down with the HMS Birmingham has said he's keen to leave England, prompting several newspapers to jump to conclusions and link McFadden, 25, immediately to Celtic. The club have of course denied it all, even going so far as to say that at no point are they lining up a deal involving £5.5m and Bobo Balde in exchange for the Scotland striker. Former Scotland boss Craig Brown and assistant Terry Butcher also got in on the act, telling McFadden that even playing in the Conference would not damage his chances of playing for Scotland. Quite what that is supposed to mean we're not sure, but if they're implying that the Scotland team would do well with players playing in the Conference, then we're in for a rocky World Cup 2010 qualifying round. Anyway, Celtic would do well to remember the hype that surrounded Maurice Johnson who would definitely sign for Celtic, oh yes, until he turned up a few days later at Ibrox wearing a Rangers top, with one arm around Souness and one tightly clenched sphincter. I wouldn't put it past them to be honest.

Another player possibly on his way out is the Holy Goallie, Artur Boruc. So impressive was he during Poland’s excellent Euro'08 run that clubs are lining up around the block to steal him away from Parkhead. Despite Celtic putting a price tag of around £6m on the player, there are plenty of clubs able to afford that kind of money, with Arsenal said to be among the possible suitors. Former Celtic keeper Magnus Hedman recently compared Boruc's command of his area and his willingness to come for crosses with Chelsea's Peter Cech. Given Cech's impression of Flappy The Seal against Turkey the other week though, the comparison does not flatter Boruc who'll be hoping that Hedman will keep his trap shut before another £1m gets wiped of his value.

Heart of Midlothian meanwhile, have found another possible mug to take over at Tynecastle. Having given up on Vladimir Weiss and Gudjon Thordarson, their attention has now turned to Jacques Santini. Santini has experience at club (sacked by Spurs, sacked by Auxerre) as well as international level (sacked as manager of France after the shock exit to Greece at Euro 2004) and approached the Edinburgh club with a possibility of taking over there. Santini has experience and he did take Lyon to their first title in years, but the problem with Hearts remains their despotic ruler Vladimir Romanov. His reputation as an interfering busy-body who uses one of Scotland’s finest clubs as his personal plaything is not exactly enticing qualified candidates to come forward. Yes, he owns the club and yes, it's his money, but Vlad, think of the bigger picture here: your club is a joke, your imported players are gash and you go through managers quicker than lager turns to pish.

Ok, back later with more news from around the leagues. In the meantime, if you know of any stories we should be covering at Inside Left, leave a comment and our secretary will get back to you. 

Till themurrah!